Breath Away

Dear God,

For countless times have I prayed,
   I begged for her to be the one,
To no avail; it was a coveting unreturned,
At this hour, I humbly pray to You,
Let the other find me,
For I know not where to seek,
   nor do I know how,
For this heart is shattering,
   for a time indefinite,

If by chance she crossed my way,
   the one meant to corral the broken pieces,
Allow this battered heart to swiftly fall,
   for a depth indefinite,
   for as long as I may draw breath,
So that I may forget,
   of countless times,
   this heart was given,
   but not readily received,
To begin eternity,
   with one who was worth the wait.

The Girl and her Bunny

There was a girl, who found a bunny, an infant born in disparity.

She found the kit had no ears, seemingly depraved through force. And both its hind legs swollen. Its siblings however met a more unfortunate fate, born only to be consumed by the one who bore them.

Alarmed, the girl rescued the bunny, before any more harm could be done. She cared for the small bunny, unlike anything she had ever cared before. Maybe it was because she saw a commonality with the small fragile life she held in her hands. For she was a hardened woman, a result of challenging younger days. She thought herself a savior for the poor bunny.

 Either way, she was determined. She was to care for the bunny and ensure that it will live to see another day.

Though she did not know how to care for her new friend, she tried her utmost best. She kept the bunny warm, she fed her, she talked to her, they kept each other's company. They needed each other, desperately.

Every time she fed the bunny with milk, through a nose drop-turned-milk bottle, she looked intently at the bunny, smilingly whispering "Dear bunny, you have to live...please live". 

Alas, Fate had different plans, for both the girl and her dear bunny. One morning, she had found her dear friend, laying motionless wrapped in a blanket meant to keep it warm. Her heart sank into unfathomable depths. No matter how hard she tried to brave the tragedy, her tears flowed without her consent. 

She misses her bunny, ever more so with each passing day. Why bunny was taken from her, no one knows. But I would've liked to think that the brief presence of the small bunny had taught her to treasure every waking moment, and that the gift of life is beautiful regardless of how long it was lived or how it began. What mattered was how the fleeting time is spent.

Waning Hearts

Continued from Part 3

"It's not getting any easier you know" she told him, abruptly. 

Her defeated tone was deliberate. There was no point in hiding the flame she held for him. 

Not anymore.

The repetition of hide and seek had lost its charm. She now yearned for the absolute. And that killed her inside.

"What is?" he asked.

He was playing a dangerous game of ignorance, all the while gazing at her, puzzled.

The rumbling inside her chest seemed to have never ceased playing its tune. All this while, a coveting rhythm, only for him.

"This," Her heart whispered this unto his unknowing ears.

She dared not to look at him. It was as if her soul willed itself to be with him. And she would give it away willingly in a single heartbeat, if only he would ask of it. But she dared not to long, to yearn more than she could bear. At least her eyes could avert what her entirety could not, she thought.

He never got an answer that day. Instead, she gave him a smile, as kind as she could muster. She then stood up and walked away. 

At one point, she turned back, staring straight into his eyes.

"I could never stop. Even if I wanted to. It was already yours, even before you and I realized it"

Oh how she wished she had said those words. 

Teh Tarik Roti Kosong

He is a hard man. He knows this, and suspects nothing will change this.

Everyday he submits to the whim of man, woman and child. Somedays, he greets them with a smile.  On good days his smile is every bit as welcoming as he means them to be. On bad days, his smile was warm enough to hide a troubled soul. 

Somedays he works his way through stacks of plates and a tower of mugs. A concoction of water, soap and oil splash against his tired features. Undisturbed, he quickly wipes it off. 

His thoughts dream of a better tomorrow. He dreams for his family. Yet rarely does he dream for himself. And why should he, when they're his everything. He has long since discarded dreams of his own.

His brushes away these thoughts and continues his labor. 

He is a proud man. Though it may not seem like much, his small establishment means everything to him. His every sweat and tear was proof to him that every Ringgit earned was because he endured.

It completed him.

My Private Prayer

Every morning, I'll say a brief prayer as I leave for work.

I pray for my parents and my three sisters.

I pray that today will be a better day than yesterday,

I pray for my every action and my every word will be out of necessity and that it leads to a greater purpose.

If today was meant to be a bad day for me, I pray that I am able to accept with humility and that I'll find the underlying wisdom.

I pray that I'm always reminded of what I do not lack.

I pray that I am content with what I now hold.

I pray that I am able to firmly hold on to what really matters, and am able to easily let go of what is not (though at times I have difficulty to distinguish between the two)

I pray that my every waking moment makes me a better man,

If today was meant to be my last, I pray that I'll be able to say that I've lived a full life, and am prepared to move on to the next.

P.S. I do realize that realistically, saying all these things aren't exactly what you'd call "a brief prayer", but I suppose if you do it every morning, one would know them in a heartbeat. 

Perpisahan

Due to the TV3 Raya Celebrations advertisement, I was once again introduced to this particular song by Anuar Zain titled Perpisahan. Browsing through YouTube, I found this wonderful cover by Cumi1569 (not me!). Henceforth, I decided to attempt a translation of the beautiful song.

I understand, this separation does not stem from hate,

But because you no longer carry my affections,

Ofttimes, They linger; memories of you;

Laden with endearing hopes, woven with a gentle bliss...

I weather my coming days,

With a face that will never return to me,

But this heart has yet to concede,

It was left to bear a persisting pain...

This doubt was never meant for you,

This heart still yearns for you,

This disquietude was meant only for me,

This heart still seeks for a glimpse of you,

This heart was never prepared to lose you...

Angin Malam

Pabila dingin malam datang menyapa,

Kian mendung hati yang menduga,

Puas mendamba,

Hajat yang tak terhingga,

Sunyi malam yang tak bertepi,

Bermain madah bersama bayu sepi.

*Note to self: This is what happens when you indulge in too much Malay Rock Kapak and Malay Love Ballads...haha